Quitting my religion

This year, for Lent, I decided to give up my religion.

I do not mean for that to come off as a joke, but the timing of my making a formal decision, about something I have been working through for some time, is a little funny.

I have decided that I will no longer participate in any Catholic rituals or identify myself as a Catholic. 

This is a little complicated, with a son attending a Catholic high school, but I can deal with this level of conflict as long as the Brothers of the Christian Schools keep their noses out of political debates.

I do not understand why today's Catholic Church would want to align itself with hatemongers like Rush Limbaugh or why a local priest (that I once considered a friend) would lead an ambush on a local Congresswoman where an old guy in the crowd wished the wrath of god on someone who has to represent both Catholic and non-Catholic constituents.

For the record, New York State has mandated no cost birth control coverage by all employers since 2002.  This state law came in during the time of a Republican Governor and when the Catholic Bishops sued, the law was upheld and the world did not end.

I remember having to scrape up $25 a month to pay for BC pills, back in my twenties, when I had periods that would last for weeks and no need for contraception.  I also know that using them more consistently throughout my reproductive years, could have either prevented or delayed my ovaries from going to hell. 

It is all so tiresome, infuriating, scary and sad and it makes me wish I had quit them earlier.

I mostly quit after Connor came out*, I distanced myself anyway, but even Connor went through with his Confirmation after saying that it was easier to change something from the inside, rather than the outside.  However, I was relieved when he chose a private college over a Catholic one.

It's all good and I hope that I offend no one in talking about this. 

Anyway, today is a good(ish**) day. 

Today marks 2 years since that tumor was removed from Connors head.  I marked the morning with a few tears after Dr. P. called to thank us for sending the office a box of chocolate covered strawberries and then working on the little shawl I started last night:

 

The pattern is the Harmony Shawl and the yarn I am using is handspun gifted from our dear Marianne.  I love, love, love the pattern, the yarn and the Marianne and may make another Harmony Shawl to give to that poor ambushed Congresswoman, but this one is mine.

*I have never been able to abide the "hate the sin, love the sinner" crap - it should just be love (everyone except the CB's***) and that's that.

** Forced Mom back to the dentist today after not getting a straight answer when I asked her how her tooth extraction site was feeling. 

***The CB's had no one attend their open house last weekend but the house at the other corner that went up for sale just after the CB's has sold.

Comments

[whiteoak]

Good luck with your decision. Belief and faith are more a matter of heart/brain than membership in a cultural institution (an organized church). Every cultural institution has good and bad people and sometimes they do things that make no sense until you look back at where they came from.

I am Episcopalian by birth, taught Sunday School for 15 years and yet have spent the last 10 years not attending services. I can still be a believer but lately my belief runs more toward the "Force be with you" and the interconnectedness of life. I have trouble meshing with most cultural institutions due to my way of looking at life and my role in it.

Have fun with your shawl and patience with your Mom (I am dealing with some of the same things so can understand that part of your life).

[Carole]

Has it really been 2 years? Wow, what a milestone! I'm really glad I wasn't raised Catholic. I consider myself a spiritual person but I have a real issue with organized religion these days.

[Susan]

Honey, I have TONS of issues with the Catholic Church, hence my blog title! 'Tis a sadly neglected blog for the moment, but I'll get back to it eventually.

Oddly enough, I found an appropriate spiritual home in an Anglo-Catholic parish (*gasp* Protestants!) with old-school ritual yet progressive (i.e., common sense to anyone secular) theology.

I'd love to chat with you about your spiritual journey sometime, if that's how you roll. :-)

By the way, for Lent I'm giving up purchasing lunch while I'm at work. If I do purchase lunch, I'm donating the full cost of the meal to Park51, the Muslim community center at Ground Zero.

Hugs.

[Marilyn]

You are not alone in leaving the church. Both of my daughters-in-law were raised as Catholics and left the church. One when she was a teenager and the other when she was in her 20s. They just couldn't go along with the church's teachings any longer.
The shawl is beautiful! :)

[Gale]

This must have been an agonizing decision for you. Offering support from not too far down the road from you.

[Karen]

Hugs to both you and Connor. How wonderful that he has been tumor-free for two years. I'm sure the decision to leave your church was not easy and hope it brings you peace.

xoxo
Karen

[Viki]

Wow, I guess that means I've been reading your blog for two years. It goes by so fast.

[Tracy]

You didn't offend me at all. Thank you for saying what so many of us are thinking

[Norma]

From a recovering Catholic, and a Jewish convert, but one who has come to abhor all things to do with organized religion and now a heathen nonbeliever, I'm right here beside you, Dear Heart. Go take a look at something that I (very coincidentally) put up on my blog just a few minutes ago. And happy Weight Off Your Shoulders Day. :)

[Anne]

I'm doing a happy dance for you! For all the reasons above. And just so you know, I went to a Jesuit college despite being Episcopal, along side several friends who openly identified themselves as atheist, and the school survived. There was no question *we* would survive it. ;^)

[susan]

Add me to the list of recovering Catholics. I've never looked back.

[Gretchen]

Me neither. So many good reasons. But, really, it's hard to believe it's been two years. Here's to many more happy endings! And Marianne, that's some beautiful handspun!

[margene]

It does not seem like 2 years! What happened to the time? Never did believe in the religion of my childhood and never looked back when I left. Follow the path that makes the most sense to you. xoxo

[Cheryl S.]

I have a hard time understanding how so many so-called Christians can be so "non-Christian" in their behavior. I hope your journey takes you to a more rewarding place in your life (and that the CB's are soon out of it). Happy 2-year anniversary to Connor!

[Rachel]

I think you are very brave and very right in talking about it out loud! We need more people to do things like this and talk about it too!

Congratulation to Connor and all the family for the 2 years celebration.

Your new shawl looks lovely.

[bonny]

Congratulations - on the 2 year anniversary, your courageous and well-thought out decision, and your good(ish) day! My beliefs have evolved into "Try to be the best person you can be and don't hurt anyone on purpose if at all possible" so I honestly respect and salute your decision. I'm not Catholic so I don't completely understand the tenets of the church, but I often wonder at the sins that can be committed in the name of religion.

[Melissa]

So glad that today was a goodish day. It's an anniversary to celebrate. I wish you a good journey going forward with your faith. I'm sure you will find a spiritual home where you are happy in the future.

[CindyCindy]

Organized Christianity gives Christ a bad name.

[Natalie]

The quitting makes sense to me.

Congrats on the anniversary.

The CBs need to have better luck so that you can be rid of them. Fingers crossed.

[kmkat]

That must have been a agonizing decision, as another commenter said. From a blended agnostic/atheist (I am not quite sure what to call myself, although I do know what I believe) to you and yours, lots of humanist warmth :-)

I am appalled at how mean-spirited and small-minded our so-called leaders can be.

[gayle]

Hugs, dear one. It's a mighty big step - and a big mighty step. Good for you!

Maybe your neighborhood could take up a collection to buy the CB's house, just to get rid of them...

[Jeannette]

All paths lead to God, whatever you may conceive God to be.
You do not have to attend a church to be religious.

[Kitten]

I have long considered myself "in recovery" from the Catholic church. They dig a deeper and deeper hole, and I'm starting to think they're driving themselves to extinction.
Kudos to you for drawing your line in the sand.
xoxoxoxox

[Cookie]

You type "tiresome" and I read "threesome". I may need a nap.

I love when those people forget what their faith teaches in favor of standing on a street corner and shouting at people. I have faith that sooner or later their lightening will come.

Do what is best for you, my dear friend. That's all we can do in this life. No matter what other folks may need us to believe.

xoxox

[Jane M.]

Good for you! You rock.

[donna lee]

I'm glad to hear that Connor's "anniversary" passed without incident. We're coming up on my daughter's third year without her tumor in June. I know the feelings.

I've been appalled at the things that have been supported by the Catholic church and can't understand how good people of conscience can stand by. You have made a tough decision. I think Jesus would have been proud of you.

[Sandra]

I quit Catholicism years back for many of the same reasons. As a Canadian and friend of many in the USA, I'm embarrased for them that they have to claim Limbaugh as one of our own. He's more of an abomination than anything he talks about.
Faith and Religion are two different things. Faith is important to yourself. Religion is what other people think you should do.

[Sarah]

I know this has been on your heart and mind for some time, Joan.

I'm so glad for the very good outcome with Connor and this anniversary!

That is such a pretty shawl, and I love the color and that it is a gift of handspun. At first I thought this pattern to be very like Vlad, but then I checked, and it is not. However, I think I now want to knit a Vlad from my handspun.

I hope all worked out well with you mom at the dentist.

xoxo

[Carrie#K]

It does seem like the Catholic/Lutherans are doing their level best to drive out anyone who wants to live in this century and follow the Golden Rule. That can't have been an easy decision for you! But the timing is pretty funny.

[marianne]

WoW. :^) That was a lot to take in. I have always felt that people are good or not so good and religion has nothing to do with it. I've known some truly sweet and good decent people.. they just happened to also be Catholics.
It's crazy out there with the religious shit storm, not just the Catholics.
I'm happy for you, I love you. Yes, it is all about the love.
Oooh, what a beautiful design/pattern! Looking forward to seeing it all blocked and finished!

(I may be a heathen but I do send requests out to the universe and please please please, nice folks to buy the CB's house!!)
;^)

xoxox

[marianne]

mercy. It's been two years?!? Time is flying so quickly. Big Cheers for Connor!
xox